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Slats in the Bed

by Bill White

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The Fishermen & the Priestess
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1.
Handy Man 02:57
lyrics
she said, hey mr octopus get your hands offa my flan she said, hey mr octopus get your hands offa my flan im so sorry missy prissy ive always been a handy man she told me i was handsome in a shoddy kinda way she told me i was handsome in a shoddy kinda way and if i shaved my shaggy moustache she would not turn me away i dont need a six inch guitar pick to play this little jingle i got ten talented fingers to untangle any girls tingle now she lets me feel her up in the daytime and feel her down - down there- at night now she lets me feel her up in the daytime and feel her down - down there- at night she says you touch is my desire you make everything feel all right some girls want a popeye to sit beside and light his pipe i dont need no spinach to make this a special night im her handy man she loves the feel of my handy hands im her handy man from the valley to the mountaintop i do everything i can
2.
Move You Through the Night 01:37
info
3.
Slats in the Bed 03:46
lyrics
she walked in i pointed the way down the hall she stretched herself down i gave her the stick from the balls she was smooth and soft and only a little bit greasy i gave it to her hard and fast she said boy be easy your face is cherry red and youre bout to break all the slats in the bed when im rammin my rod like a porno star its hard to shift gears im not driving a car im breakin the flag the one with the checkers full speed ahead with a runaway pecker be easy she said youre gonna break all the slats in the bed
4.
ONE BAD TURN DESERVES ANOTHER 02:53
lyrics
ONE BAD TURN DESERVES ANOTHER my god, you're a horrible girlfriend you are not even much of a friend when jack nichlolson called me on the phone you picked up on the other end after i hung up you stayed on the line he invited you to his party and in the morning you were no longer mine when i picked up de niro at the airport you jumped into my back seat you had to get in on the action with him and john belushi you never saw me as your boyfriend to you i was just a chauffeur but m going to vegas with gina gershon im gonna spend the weekend with her one bad turn deserves another and sour grapes make bad wine but if thats all there is to drink im gonna drink it and have a good time so this is what its really like to date an out of work beauty queen whose always got her eye out to hitch a ride on somebodys dream this hollywood life is such a drag but i admit it has its perks and it beats my indiana farm where theres nothing to do but work and one bad turn deserves another and sour grapes make bad wine but if thats all there is to drink im gonna drink it and have a good time
5.
elizabeth petty and bill white - Because of You 02:57
lyrics
Because of You lyrics by Elizabeth Petty V1 I don’t have answers I can’t find clues I’ve got more questions because of you I don’t have wisdom I can’t find truth I’ve got more worries because of you PC because of you… I sing the blues….. C I sing the blues… all night and day I lie awake… I cry and pray dear Lord oh dear Lord take me away V2 I don’t have kindness I can’t be cruel I’m now more confused because of you I don’t have respect I can’t be cool I’m more downtrodden because of you PC because of you… I sing the blues….. C I sing the blues… all night and day I lie awake… I cry and pray dear Lord oh dear Lord take me away B I’ve got my bourbon got my beer I’ve got my heartache got my tears I’ve got the blues… I’ve got the blues bad… because of you PC because of you… I sing the blues….. C
6.
cindy prince and bill white - I Need Solitude 03:08
lyrics
I don't mean to be cold I don't mean to be rude But I need time alone I need my solitude I don't mean to be crass I don't mean to back away But I need to be alone And I need it every day Chorus I want to walk where it's only nature I hear I need to let go of all my stress and fear I need to see water that runs crystal clear I need solitude...solitude I do mean to be honest I do mean to be real You just have to know Exactly how I feel
7.
When Will I Ever Learn? 04:40
lyrics
my nom de plume is willie winkie my father was a hostess twinkie my godfather is willle wonka my limousine was made by tonka i take daytime anabolics and at night im alcoholic i answer when the postman calls and sleep in whetever ditch i fall when will i ever learn when will i ever learn i woke spread-eagled in the gutter smelling of gasoline and butter blood caked on my tuxedo a vendor sold me a zambito i used tthe ice cream as a cleaning fluid then ate the cone like a treeless druid my pants were torn my hair was mussed but i straightend my tie and caught the bus when will i ever learn when will i ever learn on such mornings of snot and sneezery i open my nose most breezily with a rusty nail and a hammer lost inside a clangy clamour my lungs are coated with butterscotch toffee which i melt with a pot of coffee then cough up a thousand remnants of last nights putrid refreshments when will i ever learn when will i ever learn i take a taxi to the pentagon where i tend to ramble on on several ways to design a invisible bomb to eliminate china and how a war with russia might set the axis of the world a'right then i sit down to loud applause and write another letter to santa claus when will i ever learn when will i ever learn on the senate floor i testify that the president done told a lie though i was second banana at his coronation im jonesing now for the nomination im gonna give to the rich what i steal from the poor and spend the rest on the next world war ill be prepared for my ascent when i decide which party i will represent when will i ever learn when will i ever learn
8.
bill white and yewnorker - Same Old Movie, Different War 03:08
lyrics
Isn't this the scene Where the old woman cried Kneeling over the bodies Of her family who died And this must be the part A plane's shot down from ths sky And the helicoptor blows up And a lot of people die I think I'm almost certain Yes I'm feelin pretty sure We've all seen way too much Of this movie before It's the same old movie Different war And there's all the civilians Lying face down in the gutter And there's the little child Looking desperate for her mother The dead kid by his bicycle Some tanks all blown apart There's the bombed out hospital They've set up ERs in the yard I think I'm almost certain Yes I'm feelin pretty sure We've all seen way too much Of this movie before it's the same old movie Different war Can we pause for just a second What is wrong with everyone Why watch this same old stupid movie When you know how it will end I think I'm almost certain Yes I'm feelin pretty sure We've all seen way too much Of this movie before It's the same old movie Different war
9.
nancy cunningham [and performance bill white - Quit Scrolling the Blues 02:59
lyrics
Stop checking the news Nothing in there for you Not a word you can use Stop checking the news Quit scrolling the blues Quit scrolling the blues Quit scrolling the blues Stop looking for likes Take your carcass outside Maybe go steal a bike Stop looking for likes Stop checking the news Quit scrolling the blues Quit scrolling the blues Quit scrolling the blues Get addicted to pot Maybe then you could stop Not like the habit you've got Get addicted to pot Stop checking the news Quit scrolling the blues Quit scrolling the blues Quit scrolling the blues
10.
geoff61 and bill white - TIME WENT BY (A BROKEN PROMISE) 06:24
lyrics
When we were young you used to say If love turns out to be the way I have planned it. I’d have ribbons upon every tree The world would be just you and me And that’s for sure But time went by. And you were gone A broken promise All along I thought that we Would have it all Now I recall That broken promise I heard your name on someone’s lips I turned around to see if ships Pass in the night But my mind was playing tricks on me Illusions lead to fantasies And that’s for sure Cos time went by. And you were gone A broken promise All along I thought that we Would have it all Now I recall That broken promise You moved back East with Daddy’s job You said you’d write all in a sob I thought you would No I never read a single line Though in the fullness of passing time I still felt that way A neighbour said the other day Your Mum and Dad had passed away And I thought of you I travelled East to see if I Could somehow fix a lullaby That was broken Yes time went by. And you were gone A broken promise All along I thought that we Would have it all Now I recall That broken promise I found the church upon a hill In a cemetery of daffodils Where people stood I saw the stone in memory Of you who’d died in 93 And now it’s them And now it’s them Is it OK to miss you. That is what I say In secret moments Throughout my day The wound is old And scars won’t heal But I can reveal How much I love you The wound is old And scars won’t heal But I can reveal How much I love you
11.
Tony Boner 04:14
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released October 5, 2022

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